If your heart's not in it for real, please don't try to fake what you don't feel...
If love's already gone, it's not fair to lead me on...

'Cause I would give the whole world for you, everything you asked of me...I'd do...

But I won't ask you to stay...
I'd rather walk away...
If your heart's not in it...


*westlife mode : on*

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So...first day at the dept.of pediatrics, Karawang Residence Hospital...

It was hell...

Oh! And now I have to get up even earlier because I have to follow up my patients start from 4 a.m!! So that means I have to get up at 3.30 a.m every fucking morning! And let's not forget the 'night' shift starts from 2 p.m to 7 a.m non stop, and no days off after our night shifts.

I feel like crying now...

But...somehow...I know I can do this...

Sakuya...you're my strength... You're the reason I keep standing strong here...
Please don't leave me alone in this battlefield........

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Good morning...(or evening lol)

So today I'm moving to another city, Karawang, for the next 10 weeks. I'll stay at my uncle's house which is fortunately close to the hospital.
I hope everything is gonna be alright...

Wish me luck, guys, for the next 10 weeks in the dept.of pediatrics.

I'll see you later...in another city...
Bye...

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Who are you...?

Where are you now...?

Are you close...? Close enough to see me dying every second...thinking about your presence and your true identity...?

And...

Will I find you in time...?

Before it's too late...

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lol
Reita and Aoi were just....awesome!!!
Nee...nee...

xDDDD

So...did any of you ever watch this drama...???




It's PRINCESS HOURS (GOONG)

Because...I swear it was so so soooooooo beautiful...


 and...


*fangirl moment*



Joo Ji Hoon ftw!!!! xDDDD




It feels so wonderful...to be loved by you... <333

Yush! Finally! I just woke up and it's October 28th already...

^______^

I'll make a proper entry later... But for now...I just want to smile... I know some of you are feeling blue or stressed or depressed or struggling for life... I wish you all the best of luck! I hope you can join me in this happiness...and smile...the brightest smile of your life...

So...see ya!!
*goes to pray and make a birthday resolution*

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I just cried for a good amount of time...after watching this video...



Ayrton Senna... Your death was a great loss for all of us...but it also brought up the fact that since that one particular day at Imola, San Marino, 1994...the FIA had developed high standards for driver's safety...
And thanks to you...
15 years since your tragic death...
There were no more drivers killed on track in the Formula 1 history...

*sighs*

I met a senior gynecologist today in the emergency operating room, he's 38. We talked a lot.

...and now, 6 hours later, he sits in front of my desk in the hospital's ICU trying to hit on me...

Great...

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EARTHQUAAAAAAAKE....!!

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I just drop by to say.....


HAPPY BIRTHDAY,  rei_cookie   </span>!!!!!!!!


I wish you all the best, dude...  ^______________^

I feel so lucky to get into this medical school...

The more we know about medical science, about human anatomy, phisiology...the more we understand how small we are compared to God...

I recently re-read about the anatomy and phisiology of human respiratory and cardiovascular system...and I just realized that we, humans, are indeed God's most perfect creatures...

I was like "Good Lord... If our respiratory system itself is so amazing and flawless like this...then the creator of that respiratory system must be even much more amazing and flawless...and he must be more than just perfect to be able to create such a complicated system THIS perfect..."

Well...
I just want to share my thoughts...
I know there are people on my f-list who also get into medical field just like me.

Maybe you guys have the same opinion... =)

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*sighs*

Bad day...bad day...

Amuse me, please..

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lol a friend of mine just called me and we had an epic convo xDDD


Me    : "Hello...?"

Him  : "Hey! Mai! happy birthday, sweetie... I wish you blah blah blah blah..." => (he spoke too fast with a very cheery tone I didn't even get a single word he said lol)

Me    : "...................................................."

Him  : ".................................................."

Me    : "...................................................."

Him  : "........................Mai...?"

Me    : ".......dude....?"

Him  : "......yeah...?"

Me    : "You're 19 days too early..."



xDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD

Jealousy oh jealousy...

It scares the hell out of me. I mean it. It's unhealthy.
I mean...in this level I'm in at the moment, it's impossible to beat them... And...there is one person, and I mean ONE, that I'm sure I will never be able to beat. He's like........idk....god??? I don't get it why people worship him THAT much.
May I say that I hate him...?

Okay...

I hate him.

There...I said it...

But...if one day I'm able to beat him...that will be a miracle...

So, I will never give up. Great guys from the past never gave up.

But still...it's haunting me...and I know it's unhealthy...

Whatever... XDDDD

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Just some random thoughts at 5 a.m...

There are four of my former middle school friends who are getting married this month.

I envy them >_>

I want my man...

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Now I know... My biggest enemy is myself...and my jealousy...

*sighs*


And god...why does this contracture release surgery take so long...??

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I just had a very sweet dream...and now I can't stop smiling...

I love you, my awesome boyfriend... <333

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Sakuya, honey...
Remember the entry you posted a few weeks ago about women and period?

I think I might reconsider to give up my two extra years of life because this evil feeling inside my lower tummy is killing me!!! Aaargh...

Oh god...
Women and period...
Oh god...

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